Ever wonder why some people are just so magnetic? How they have people attracting towards them like bees to honey? It’s a pretty simple formula. It’s their genuineness, raw authenticity and most of all: their heart’s presence. I was sitting one time sharing a communal hot springs jacuzzi with Dr. Dan Siegal who is a world renowned Psychiatrist. By far one of the most charismatic people I’ve ever seen on stage. He has a way with his words and the way he tells stories has everyone holding on to his every word like children with a sweet tooth in a candy store. So I took the opportunity I had sitting next to him to ask him the following question: “Dan, what is charisma?”. Dan then took a moment to reflect and answered sagely “well Shayan, I believe charisma is pure presence”. Presence….aha! Alas I had finally known the secret recipe of such a fabled and ethereal subject. To properly define presence, what it means is to be fully present and show up fully as ourselves. Our presence is truly a gift to this world and when we show up half assedly to places then people can automatically tell that our minds are at different places. To truly give someone the best present is to be there for them 100% and give them your full undivided attention. And to take things another notch is to bring passion to the conversation. See Dan was very present when he would give his talks. Another critical piece to his magnetic success with people was his passion which gracefully illuminated his presentations. He would present anecdotes about his life stories in his talks, use humor and he had a very down to earth, humble approach in the way he would share his message. The man was on a mission and you could tell a mile away. When he spoke he wasn’t trying to sell you his product or tell you how smart he is but would rather invitingly bring you in to his presentation as if he were having a conversation with you and told you just how special you were. You could tell his heart was in the right place and the way he spoke you knew he had the best interests of his people at heart.
You can tell when someone speaks in passion and when someone is forcing it!
